Raising boys in 2025 can feel like a constant navigation of new complexities. While the challenges of peer pressure and emotional growth persist, there are additional hurdles – the digital world, shifting gender norms, and increasing concerns around mental health. As the recent Netflix show Adolescence demonstrated with harrowing realism, there is so much more about raising children to be mindful of.
Anne Sprosen, counsellor at Alliance Counselling (alliancecounselling.com.sg), shares, “Boys are socialised from a very young age to suppress their emotions and adopt rigid ideas of masculinity. This makes it harder for them to develop emotional intelligence or express vulnerability in a healthy way.”
Many boys struggle with navigating their feelings and building meaningful connections. Technology adds another layer. Continues Anne, “The online landscape plays a huge role in how young boys form their identities. It can be both empowering and a breeding ground for unrealistic standards of success and masculinity.” Read on as Anne shares practical tips on how parents can raise emotionally healthy, resilient boys in this ever-changing world.
How can I ensure they develop a healthy body image despite the influence of social media?
Social media often promotes unrealistic body ideals, pressuring boys to meet extreme standards of masculinity. This can impact their mental health, but as a parent, you can help them navigate it. Encourage reflective reasoning by discussing how filters and editing distort reality, and ask questions like, “Do you think that person always looks like that?” Focus on health over exterior by reinforcing that strength and wellbeing are more important than looks. Encourage them to see food and exercise as ways to feel good. Model a positive mindset by avoiding negative self-talk about your own body and promoting a balanced approach to fitness. Highlight those who prioritise health over appearance. By doing so, you help them build self-worth based on a healthy mindset, not unattainable physical standards.
How can I assist them to form a healthy sense of masculinity & self-worth?
Adolescence is when boys look beyond their families for role models, making them vulnerable to extreme or rigid views of masculinity. Without guidance, they may adopt limiting beliefs about strength, success, and relationships. Help them build a balanced perspective by:
1. Encouraging Critical Thinking About Media and Influences
- Be aware of the content they’re consuming and discuss it with them
- Ask, “What message is this influencer really sending?” or “Does this align with the kind of person you want to be?”
- Use school discussions on gender and media literacy as conversation starters
2. Providing Positive Male Role Models
- Introduce them to men who demonstrate empathy, leadership, and integrity – whether family members, teachers, or public figures
- Share books, movies, or shows featuring diverse and emotionally intelligent male characters
3. Helping Them to Define Themselves
- Instead of accepting others’ prescriptions of masculinity, guide them
in exploring their own values - Ask, “What qualities do you admire in people you respect?” or “What does strength mean to you?”
- Reinforce that masculinity is about character, not conforming to rigid stereotypes
4. Modelling Emotional Resilience
- Show them that vulnerability and seeking support are strengths
- Share your own experiences with challenges and growth
- Encourage self-expression through journalling, music, sports, or conversations
- Foster self-reflection and emotional openness to help your child define masculinity on their own terms online
How can I help them build healthy relationships with girls?
Given the challenges of navigating respect, consent, and objectification, navigating relationships in the digital age comes with unique challenges. The best way to guide your child is through ongoing conversations, role modelling, and helping them to develop their own values around respect, consent, and emotional connection.
Embody Healthy Relationships
Show them what respectful communication, emotional connection, and conflict resolution look like in your own relationships. When disagreements arise, demonstrate how to handle them with empathy and mutual respect
Encourage Reflection on Friendships & Romantic Relationships
Instead of lecturing, ask open-ended questions to help them develop their own values. You might ask:
- “What do you like about the friends you spend time with? What do you appreciate about these friendships?”
- “How do you handle conflicts in your friendships?”
- “What do you think makes a relationship strong?”
Discuss Consent & Objectification
Make sure they understand that consent is about mutual comfort and respect, not just saying “no.” Use examples from real life, media, or TV shows to spark discussion. Challenge harmful stereotypes by discussing how the media often portrays men and women in unrealistic ways. Ask: “Do you think that’s what a real relationship looks like?” This will help them to critically analyse the messages they are exposed to
Guide Them Through Digital Relationship Challenges
Discuss how texting, social media, and online interactions can impact relationships. Talk about setting boundaries, respecting privacy, and handling conflicts appropriately online. Encourage them to be mindful of how they interact with others digitally, ensuring they treat people with the same respect online as they would in person
How can I encourage them to talk about their feelings?
To help them open up, create a supportive environment, model emotional expression, and use low-pressure approaches to conversation.
- Make talking about feelings part of family life and initiate daily check-ins
- Teens often open up while doing activities side by side, like driving or cooking. Be present without pushing
- Be patient. If they’re not ready to talk, respect their space but reassure them you’re there when they are
- Use gentle openings. Instead of asking directly about depression, try, “You’ve seemed quieter lately – anything on your mind?” or “How have you been feeling?”
- Keep conversations ongoing by asking, even if they’re not ready. Little chats over time build trust and comfort
- Lean on your village. Encourage connections with trusted adults or mentors. Let them know professional support is always an option
How can I create a safe space for them to understand issues about gender identity or sexuality?
The most important thing is to approach this with unconditional love and curiosity. Let them know that questioning is normal and that they have your full support, no matter where their exploration leads. Gender identity is a journey, and they may not have all the answers right now. Avoid pressure or assumptions – simply listen and be present. Help them find affirming resources, such as LGBTQI+ support groups or literature, and reinforce that their worth is not tied to their gender or sexual identity but to who they are as a person. If they’re comfortable, connect them with trusted mentors or counsellors who specialise in gender identity and adolescent development. School counsellors and organisations like Singapore’s Oogachaga (oogachaga.com) can be great places to start.
How can I support them in managing the pressures to ‘man up’ or ‘succeed’?
Redefine success for them by shifting the focus from societal expectations to personal growth, effort, and fulfilment. Encourage them to see that real strength lies not in toughness or achievement alone, but in emotional awareness, vulnerability, and resilience. Discuss the dangers of the ‘man up’ mentality, particularly how it can lead to suppressing emotions or chasing external validation at the expense of their wellbeing.
Help them to understand that setbacks and struggles are part of the learning process, not signs of weakness. Share your own experiences of overcoming challenges to show that failure is a stepping stone, not something to be feared. Guide them in setting goals that align with their personal values, prioritising mental health and relationships alongside ambition.
10 Tips for Open Communication
- Listen Without Judgment
Let your child express themselves without fear of criticism or immediate advice. Sometimes, they just need to be heard. - Be Present in Everyday Moments
Teens often open up during casual activities. Take advantage of these low-pressure times. - Ask Thoughtful, Open-Ended Questions Instead of “Did you have a good day?” try “What was the most interesting part of your day?” to spark deeper conversations.
- Make Time Without Screens Set aside moments for face-to-face connection, whether it’s during meals, outings, or just hanging out.
- Stay Calm in Difficult Conversations Reacting with anger or judgment can make them shut down. Keep communication open, even when discussing tough topics.
- Share Your Own Experiences
Let them see your struggles and growth. Honest, age-appropriate stories help them relate to you and build trust. - Pay Attention to Nonverbal Cues
Mood shifts, silence, or short answers can signal something is on their mind – be patient
and available. - Balance Boundaries with Trust
Allow them privacy while keeping communication lines open. Let them know they can always turn to you without fear. - Show & Tell Them
They’re Loved, Always Regularly express your love and appreciation, even when times are tough. A strong bond starts with feeling valued. - Read
Steve Biddulph’s Raising Boys: Why Boys are Different – and How to Help Them Become Happy and Well-Balanced Men (amazon.com) is a practical and readable resource.
